Hey Gang! It's no military secret that I'm a
Boogie Wipes Ambassador and I love it! I always have a blast and love sharing and spreading the news everywhere I go so you can imagine my giddy excitement when I heard the news that
Boogie Wipes had partnered with
Mompact to bring us an amazing new giveaway!
Squeeeeeel with joy! This is not just an average giveaway let me tell you!
Mompact is giving away an awesome grand prize to one winner...how does over $1000 in cash and prizes sound? That's right ladies. Spend it how you want but spend it on you! There's lots more prizes too so what are you waiting for?
Get on over to the
Mompact facebook page, hit that giveaway tab and get busy. Woohooo!! Don't forget to bookmark the page and come back everyday to grab those extra daily entries...they're like gold! Have fun and good luck!
I've included one ( I have many) of my absolute all time most embarrassing and humiliating experiences for your reading pleasure. EEGADS! I would absolutely love to hear yours as well or how about a special Mom moment you've had? Leave a few lines in the comments below and I'll pick a few to give a little treat to.
Permanently disfigured self inflicted bowling injury
BOWLING........JUST SAY NO!
Why I should win....Read my humiliating story!!
I would start this out by saying I remember when....but nah...it's more like how could I forget....ever! I had been a single Mother for several years and had spent my days ( and nights) going about my Mom duties. Of course I had many single girlfriends who took me on as a project saying I needed to start dating..ya know, like get out of the house and use it before I lose it.
I was just fine rolling along with the way things were, echos of my own Mother's voice whispering to me..."You don't need a man in your life". Well actually it was more like the bitter howl of a wounded animal- probably due to the fact that she was carrying a bag full of grudges and they all had to do with men. Not my problem!
Anyway, I suppose I set myself up since I did hang out with the cool, hip crowd and maybe subconsciously I was asking for it. OK. Here it comes. A group of my friends were on a bowling league. I hate bowling. They were constantly trying to get me out with them on Friday nights if nothing else to just hang out and watch. Two years later I said FINE! I kept coming up with any excuse not to go and dreaded it...I had a hang nail...my youngest NEEDED me to play Mario Bros., Am I about to start my period again..twice in two weeks? Anything to not actually get out of my comfort zone.
So, there I am sitting with my diet coke in the bowling alley, wearing not cute clothes since I came directly from work, watching the clock and wondering just how frickin' long I had to stay before I could make my escape. Bango! Shazam! Here comes Lisa headed my way with that unmistakable look on her evil face. NO!! Please don't introduce me! Not looking like this! I was trapped and that's where it all began...or went wrong I should say. She introduced me to Craig and there was no denying it. What kind of grown woman gets all stupified and tongue twisted. This one sure did. Very nice guy, oh so cute too. That was that. I went to work on Monday and tried to casually ask her about this Craig guy. Found out that he'd done the same so she gave him my number. Squeeeeel like a schoolgirl! He called that night and I tried to play it off that I liked Bowling so we agreed to meet on Wednesday night with our kids for some bowling fun. He had 2 also. Did I mention I hate bowling?
I was giddy and even shopped for some new jeans and a top. I left work early on Wednesday because hey! I had to practice my my fake bowling skills in the mirror. Kids ready..check...makeup flawless...check...outfit cute...check. Get in car and drive. Arrive at Bowling Alley. Walk in with confident attitude. Craig was there already and the place was packed to capacity. More so than on Friday night. It was my turn and I knew I was looking good especially in that new shirt I was rockin'. I could feel my confidence soar as I released that bowling ball and watched it roll... roll... roll right into the gutter. Oh well, who cares when your lookin' cute baby! I immediately picked up the ball all gung ho style like I was my own cheerleader and when I went to roll that baby again it flew off my fingers and landed directly on the foot of the man next to us. OMG! He screamed in pain and as I headed towards him I tripped over my own 2 feet, fell over the scoring table and knocked an entire pitcher of beer all over that man. I don't even drink. I froze in horror. I was mortified. Can you even imagine? Oh, did I tell you that I'm a known klutz and my nickname is Lucy Ricardo? Now ya now.
My poor kids were used to this kind of thing from me and I recognized that red flushed sweaty look of embarrassment and mortification on they're faces. You would think that would stop me but no..vanity would win this one. I did everything within my limited power to remain looking cute in my new outfit. Yes! As if my cute clothes were SO cute that no one would even notice what just happened. Yikes! Say it isn't so. Is that poor man actually going to the hospital? Did the Bowling Alley Manager seriously just call an ambulance? Where are my kids? Hiding of course! I'm having a panic attack! Get me out of here! Is he going to sue me? This a good time to start drinking! I'm hot and I feel sick at my stomach. Craig, please be my Knight in Shining Armour and and whisk me outta here. Whew! Regain composure *ahem* clears throat.
My car was parked at the very back of the parking lot so Craig left me with the kids, his and mine, to go get his and picked us up at the front door to drop us off at my car. Kids are loaded in and I, ever so gracefully slid into the passenger seat. !!@#):<!*%!!! I just slammed my own hand in the car door shutting it from the inside? Who DOES that? The pain is unbearable! I am actually crying. To the ER I go where we see the same man who's toe I broke with the bowling ball. I now know this because he just told me. My poor kids are exhausted and I'm beginning to feel like a real loser. What is wrong with me? Craig is now my new BFF ( in my own head) since he actually ordered pizza for them while I waited in Xray. My hand is broken and my left pinky knuckle is shattered and dislocated. I have this reminder daily as my pinky still juts out sideways in a severely deformed looking way. Well Hallelujah..Oh Happy Day....we can all finally go home while I try to figure out any way I can to leave this evening with a modicum of decorum. My kids give me some well deserved teasing when we get home and tell me that my oh so cute embroidered Tee Shirt is on inside out. Whatever..is that all ya got guys? I look in the mirror and they're right. My Shirt had been on inside out the entire night and they knew it!
Well played kiddos, well played. Touche!
